How It Should Have Been
by tjstl
Summary: I am a Jason and Sam fan, but I am not happy with how he treated her for keeping the secret about Robin. This is a One Shot on how I would like their next conversation to go...


**AN: I'm terrible at descriptions but this story came to me as a reaction to how Jason treated Sam during their conversation at the church. This is how I would want their next conversation to play out. Please review... **

"_I was hurt in the beginning, but later I realized that she was coming from a place of fear and love." the familiar stranger said as he placed a hand on the pregnant woman's shoulder as she silently wept._

"_It took me a while…. Okay a bit longer than it should have but I finally realized who she was to me, the love of my life. Then I realized that the need to have her and my son as a part of my life were a much greater weight than the pain I was struggling to carry. Give him some time, I'm sure he will realize how hard the decision was and that it was made from love."_

"_Are you sure we've never met before?" Sam asked as she wiped tears and turned to face the stranger John McBain._

" _I think I would remember meeting a woman as beautiful as you." He smiled._

The sound of keys in the door shook Sam back to the present. She shifted that blanket that covered her legs as she rested on the couch. Her husband walked through the door and looked up at her, there was silence. Sam clutched the What to Expect When You're Expecting Book, that she had started reading just days ago. Seemed like another lifetime, when she was finally embracing this miracle pregnancy and anxiously waiting for her husband to wake so they could move forward together. She let out a long sigh.

He closed the door behind him and turned to head up the penthouse steps.

"Where did you go?" Her voice stopped him in his tracks.

He slowly turned to face her, "I went to the bridge to say goodbye to Robin?"

"Alone?" she asked with apparent sadness

"No, actually Elizabeth came and stayed with me for a while."

Sam slowly swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. _Pick your battles_ she thought to herself. Jason could see the look of pain on her face, and she could tell that he didn't care. _Who is this man_, she thought. He turned to continue up the stairs.

"Jason…" She blurted out, stopping him again but he didn't turn to face her this time.

"We have to talk about this." She began to stand from the couch.

"I have nothing to say to you."

She sneered, taken aback by his curtness. "Well then you can listen, dammit."

He took the first step.

"Jason, take one more step then I will know that you have given up on us and you are not the man that I planned to spend the rest of my life with. If you value this marriage at all, you will at least hear me out."

He slowly turned to face her. _Well, that's a good sign_.

"Will you have a seat?" She asked timidly.

He stood still, fully embracing his "Stone Cold" persona. She decided not to press her luck even though the stress of the day and the growing baby had made her a little weary. She walked to him and tried to get close without making him pull away from her again.

"I know how you feel about people making choices for you Jase. I do. I know that you hate to feel powerless and that your decisions are not your own. But do you have any idea how scared I was?"

He angrily shook his head, "that doesn't give you the right to…"

"You have to listen." She interrupted. "Contrary to what seems to be popular opinion, I do know you Jason. Dare I say that I know you better than Carly. I knew exactly how Robin's death would hit you. I anticipated your every reaction, and that is why I knew I couldn't tell you right away. The difference between me and Carly is that I can live with you being angry with me, I always choose to protect your life."

He continued to stare at her. She felt the chill as goose bumps raised on her arm and her knees went a little weak.

"Can we please sit? It's been a long day and I don't think the baby or my body has enjoyed the stress."

She saw a glimmer of concern in his eyes as he slowly brushed past her towards the loveseat. He proceeded to sit on the coffee table and motioned for her to sit in the chair. _At least he didn't try to sit across the room_. She went and took a seat directly in front of him.

"Jason, every decision I made in that hospital was about you and our child. If your seizures weren't triggered by stress, I would have run to you to tell you about Robin. But they were, so I didn't. I knew that as soon as you found out you would have rushed to try to save her and there was nothing you could do. So I made the only decision I could at that time Jason, because risking your life was never an option." She reached out to place a hand on his forearm but he drew back quickly. She felt a pain in her heart but tried to move on.

"That still doesn't explain why you kept lying Sam. You should have told me when I woke up."

"You're right." She admitted softly. " That was the one selfish choice I made. I wanted one whole day to know that you were healthy before I blew your world apart by telling you that one of your closest friends had died." Tears started to run from her eyes. "but you have understand Jason.."

"I don't." he raised his voice. "You say you know me but you don't . If you knew me, you would have told me instead of letting Carly."

"I didn't let Carly do anything, Jason!" Sam looked up and straight into his eyes.

She lowered her voice before speaking again, "I understand that you are angry but the comparisons to Carly have got to stop. If you think for a moment that your "friend's" decision to tell you was not fueled by her desire to claim her position in your life you are sorely mistaken. If Carly really cared for you she would have thought of your health over everything else." Her tears had dried now, and they stared back at each other with anger. " You are not just my friend, you are my husband. I can't base my decisions off of what Carly would do Jason, I have to base them on what I think I should do as your wife! In your mind that relationship maybe equal to your friendship with Carly, but in mind it is not." They continued the intense stare, "it's time you start thinking about things more in terms of how they relate to your wife and child and a little less about everyone else….especially Carly."

"Don't go there. You have known about Carly's place in my life since long before we were married."

"You are right Jason, I respect the fact that you and Carly are friends. You're more than friends, you are like family. But me and this baby, Jason, we are your family. When do you start to put me first? Us? When do you give me the benefit of the doubt that you so freely extend to her? When we were first engaged you seemed to understand. I was there when you told her that I had to a priority, but you still don't always act like it." Jason squinted his eyes and Sam saw a new fire in them. This may not have been the right time for the conversation, but she didn't regret her comments. He wanted honesty, right?

Sam was the first to break eye contact as she got out of the chair and went to lean on the fire place. Before she could gather her thoughts to speak Jason's cell phone rang. She turned to face him, but his back was still to her.

"Please, don't answer it Jason, we're not done." Sam asked softly as the tears fought to return.

"I have to." He replied dryly.

"Yeah, Sonny?" He continued without emotion. _Who is this man? _She thought again.

"No, the name doesn't sound familiar. I will have Spinelli check him out. What do you know about him?" Jason went on with the conversation as Sam's mind wandered back to her other conversation in the church.

"_So, John McBain ." Sam said as she wiped the tears from her face. "Are you a priest or something? Why would you sit here and listen to the sad rambling of a random pregnant lady."_

_He chuckled, "I'm far from a priest, believe me. I was coming here looking for someone and saw you crying. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."_

"_Are you always this polite to strangers?" _

"_Not always. Maybe we do know each other from a past life..."They both chuckled._

"_Well clearly things worked out with your wife….she is your wife now."_

"_I couldn't imagine my life turning out any differently and I'm glad I have this opportunity to raise my son with the woman I love. Give your husband some time, he will forgive and forget once he has had some time to come to terms with things."_

_Sam let out a sarcastic chuckle, "Obviously you do not know Jason Morgan."_

"_No, I guess not." John replied quietly._

Sam returned to the present just in time to hear the end of Jason's conversation with Spinelli. "I don't care how you have to do it Spinelli, just find me any information you can on John McBain."

Sam was glad that Jason's back was still to her as she tried to control her facial reaction. This couldn't be another secret between them, she would tell him about her conversation with Detective McBain….just not right now. _One hurdle at a time_.

"I want to know everything Spinell!" Jason barked. "I want to know what he is doing here, how he knows Sonny or anyone else in Port Charles. Just do it now!" He slammed his phone shut and let out a deep breath. Sam quietly prepared herself as he turned to face her again.

"Look, I can't do this right now Sam. I have some other important things to take care of."

"More important than this family?" the words flew out before Sam could stop them.

Jason sat still for a moment. "You say that you know me….then you should have known how I would react Sam. You know how I feel about people keeping things from me. As my wife, you should have…"

"As your wife?" Sam began to yell. "As your wife Jason I did exactly what I was supposed to do. I made the best decision I could for my husband and our family. As your wife I wanted to make sure that your friend's sacrifice was not in vein and that you lived to see, hold and love your child. All I have done this whole time is stand strong as your wife, now when do you start acting like my husband? You don't have to agree with my decision. You are hurting for your friend and I am sorry that my actions are making that pain worse. But I will not apologize for my choice, Jason. That choice is the reason why you are even alive to be angry with me. Why can't you understand that I didn't keep that truth to take anything away from you, I did it so that this family could have a future, so that we could have a chance!"

Sam didn't realize that tears had started streaming down her face and she was hyperventilating. Suddenly she felt dizzy and weak on her feet. She grabbed a hold of the fireplace and look up at Jason. For the first time since the truth came out she saw a glimmer of love in his eyes.

"I do understand," he began softly. "Nothing is how it should be….I just wish you would have given me a chance to say goo…." He was interrupted by a knock the door.

Sam gained enough strength to turn quickly and head towards the door. Whoever this was, she was going to stop them before he let them through the door. Jason stood still by the fireplace.

"Who is it?" She yelled out in frustration

"Detective John McBain."

Sam froze with her hand on the door handle and turned towards Jason. The softer expression from just moments ago was gone and she could see the anger returning. She hesitantly opened the door.

"Hello, again. I hope you are doing better."

"What are you doing here." She asked softly but aggressively.

"I'm actually here to see your husband." McBain replied with a smug smile as he looked back towards Jason.

Sam reluctantly turned to face her husband.

"You two know each other?" he said with a cold stare.


End file.
